45: Raising Kids on the Farm--More than just chores

We trade stories about growing up as farm kids and how those memories shape the adults and parents we become. Then we get into what happens when farm life gets misunderstood or even used against a family in a legal fight, and why that feels so personal. 
• grandparents and parents clearing land, tending livestock, and doing backbreaking work that built today’s farms 
• sensory memories that stick, from plowed dirt to feed sounds to live hog prices at lunch 
• early responsibility through real tasks, from welding gates to loading hogs to hauling grain 
• raising goats and learning to handle loss, grief, and disappointment without sugarcoating life 
• the “cutting board” herding board debate and why farm language is part of culture 
• why some of us only appreciate farm life later, especially when facing consumer disconnect 
• how raising kids around farms looks different now with sports, distractions, and less daily labor 
• farm kid skills that pay off anywhere, from problem solving to tools to critical thinking 
• making agriculture an option for our kids without forcing a legacy 
• a custody battle where farm safety becomes a weapon and why “job site” language dehumanizes family farms 
• teaching safety with supervision, training, and modern standards while defending the family side of farming 

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Transcript

Welcome Back With The OG Crew

Chad 0:01

Alright, everybody, welcome back to Race on the Farm Podcast. We've got the OG gang here today. From the beginning. Maretta, Marlowe, and myself. Welcome back, guys. Good to be with you today.

Marisa 0:16

I'm excited to be here today.

Marlowe 0:20

Thanks for having me. Three Musketeers. Back at it again.

Chad 0:25

Well, today we are talking about farm kids. We were all farm kids, and uh, you know, I think it's uh something um that's very special to me having been raised on a farm, but uh I want to just kind of go through the different generations, maybe like start off what you guys remember maybe your grandparents or your parents talking about and how it was being raised on the farm for them, and then we'll move into our generation and we'll talk about our kids a little bit and maybe try to think uh far enough ahead to figure out what our future grandchildren may experience. So let's dive in.

Grandparents’ Stories And Farm Roots

Chad 1:05

What does Bob said about being raised on the farm, Marlo? What's some of the things you remember him saying?

Marlowe 1:13

I mean, I think I think the best uh memory I have of him talking about being raised on the farm is when I was gonna build a turkey farm, and he's like, Oh, poultry. I was like, Yeah, dad, like I got this opportunity. I'm gonna be the first woman to build an all-in-out, all in, all out turkey farm. And I'm I think it's a great transition for some agricultural land we have. And he's like, mm. He was like, I remember picking eggs in the morning and picking up eggs in the afternoon, and uh, it just had a bad taste in his mouth because he remembered having to get up before school and go pick up, you know, because they had layers. My grandfather had two chicken houses, and I think he back then he was actually raising chickens for Purdue. Um, but they had, you know, in a hatchery and all this stuff, and he had to go, you know, check the chickens twice a day, and he was like, you know, I don't he was he was remembering um just you know the work that he put in on on the farm. And but that's something he's always instilled with me. I think, man, I think every ag kid understands and appreciates, you know, being able to witness and learn in that kind of aspect.

Chad 2:13

Yeah, for sure. I you know, my I remember my dad and uncle, oh I don't remember. I I'm I do remember they them telling me about coming home and and getting off the bus. And and typically my grandmother would have some like biscuits from lunch and some sausage or something. They would get a little quick snack, and it was back to this field on our farm where they had to pick up roots. And what they always emphasize telling me is that they had to pick them up out of the field and put them on a trailer, and then they had to drive the trailer to the woods and throw them off in the woods. So they actually had to handle them twice. So I just remember telling me about how tough it was, and they were clearing a piece of land uh that we farm today, so it's it's it was neat. How about you, Marissa? Any any uh memories from your folks?

Marisa 3:04

I mean, so we live on a century farm, and I grew up just hearing stories from my grandfather talk about how they cleared the land and how much uh his father just did backbreaking work to clear it with the mules. Um and then just how that uh land has been passed down. Um my mom would uh work in the tobacco fields, and they've always just had some kind of livestock. My dad grew up on a farm and then now we got to grow up on a farm and it looked a little different, but uh you know, it's just it's something that it connects us all, and I just love that.

Chad 3:48

Yeah, for sure.

Marlowe 3:50

I agree. Farming heritage is a a strong bond that you know, with us being less than two percent of the population, it's hard to kind of explain that lifestyle to somebody else. I f I find that a hard thing to communicate, um, all the responsibilities and what you learn and the experience of growing on a farm.

Marisa 4:08

Yeah.

Chad 4:09

And you know, it was different for like um my dad and my uncle, who basically, you know, built our family farm uh along with my grandfather. I mean, they were coming through at a time when um they were just they just focused on raising pigs and trying to be the best pig farmers they could and and growing that. Um whereas now we know how to raise pigs, it's more about just trying to stay in business, right? Um and not be regulated out of business and communicating with our our um you know our our congresspeople or our politicians trying to keep um keep regulations down.

Marlowe 4:51

Yeah, yeah, that's a that's a good point. I mean, I definitely feel like our generation is fighting um the narrative more than the actual hands-on building of the farm. Like we're we're trying to hold on to it because you know, we see it slowly chipping away at us from every angle. Um, and that wasn't the same experience as, you know, they didn't have social media, they didn't have, you know, misinformation, false narratives going around about them. I mean, you know, everybody was proud to know farmers and respected farmers, and I think that that has changed a lot in our generation and will continue to change as we evolve in agriculture.

Chad 5:29

But gosh, I I just so enjoyed those days on the farm where I would get up and go to work with my dad, um, and we would work till lunchtime, and then we would go to my grandma's house and eat lunch. She would have it ready by 12 30. We were done eating and sitting, watching WRAL news, live hog prices. Had to be quiet while they were talking about hog prices. Uh and a little look, a little 15-minute nap, and back at it at one o'clock. And those oh, I I mean I was five years old when when my dad moved back to the farm. My grandfather got sick. Um, my dad moved back to the farm, and um so I was five years old and I was hanging tight with my pops for sure. Yeah. Yeah, it was both. I mean, I I was so intrigued by just farming and wanting to drive tractors and what. But there was some times when like we were really having to grind it out, and I was just like, ah, or maybe it was cold or really hot, or uh, I remember uh we were in this little breeding barn that we had, and it was um it was really cold. And we were I was in there with a little propane torch thawing out nipple waters so the sows could get some water, and I was cold as hell. I was like I was I was like, come on, Dan, let's go home. Uh they'll be all right till tomorrow. Uh but yeah.

Marlowe 7:03

Do you do you think those like experiences now looking back on it, like I mean, would you change it? Or I mean, do you think that that in a sense built like the person you are today?

Chad 7:14

100%. And you know, uh it's funny because I didn't know it at the time. I had no idea what was going on. I had no uh It was just volumes. I mean the farm was was taking over, was getting in my blood. Um, and I didn't even realize it until I was 25, 30 years old. And I'm like, damn, farming's in my blood. Um Yeah.

Marlowe 7:34

I think I think back in that age too, I just thought everybody farmed. You know, I mean like everybody was farming.

unknown 7:39

Yeah.

Chad 7:40

But gosh, those are such good memories. I mean, this um, you know, talking about smells that remember you. I just remember fresh plowed dirt, what it smelled like, um, tobacco, harvesting time, what it smelled like. Gosh, so many good memories.

Marlowe 7:57

It's funny how smells on the farm, you know, really trigger you in those kind of ways.

Chad 8:01

You know, we we took our uh soybeans uh to Goldsboro Millet to to sell. And I remember the line would be long, you know, you'd be stuck out there on the side of the road um for hours at the time. And that was my job. My dad sent me, I think I was 15 years old. He said if I remember him telling me, he said, if you get pulled over by the by the police or by the state trooper, just plead ignorant and tell them you're straight off the farm. Uh but uh Yeah, that's where they're glory. Um I would get out of the truck and I would get on get in the back of this two-ton truck and I would lay on the beans and just just take a nap. Um right there on the railroad tracks going into uh Goldsboro Mill and I remember it plain as day. Good times. That's 15 when I was hauling. Yeah.

Marlowe 8:47

Yeah.

Chad 8:48

Yeah.

Marlowe 8:49

How old were you when you started driving a track?

Chad 8:52

I was like, I mean, do you remember? I think I was in that 10 range. Yeah, 10 or 11. I remember begging my daddy to let me drive it and then begging him to let me get off of it. He's like, once he found out I could drive it, he put me on it. I was like, please let me. It was over.

Marlowe 9:04

You're going over.

Chad 9:05

That little panel, uh fender-mounted radio, you know, you get off of and that that right side ear would just be jamming all day. Those are good memories. How about you, Marlo? What are some what are some really fond uh memories or smells or I don't know from the farm?

Marlowe 9:24

I mean, honestly, like I just remember playing like for the longest time. Like I remember being like five years old, maybe probably even younger, and running up and down the pens, like getting the hogs all worked up. I'd be like, quit running in front of the hogs, you know, I'd get on the pins and try to be like a balanced being. There'd be like a big old boarhog to the right, you know, over playing a thousand-pound hog. And I'd be crawling in there. And and you know, those are the things I remember, like going out and playing in the dirt. Um, I remember like when I got my horse, like riding it through the barns, you know, getting on my my horse and riding him through the barns. And they'd be like, get out of here. That's funny. You know, they'd be like, get out of here. Like, and I'd be like, Watch what she can do. Um, I think I mean, like those are really in the sounds too, like the sounds of the, you know, we've talked about this war chat, like the sounds of the, you know, feed running. Um, and in the in the sounds of the sounds, you know, like we would, I mean, just when they were having babies, or I was in there helping them process baby pigs, or um, those are those are the a lot of things I remember. And like the people on the farm. I mean, half of the employees, or most of actually a lot of the employees, you know, are still working for us now. I mean, they're like family. I mean, those those people are part of like our culture. I mean, I think it's you know, just really just playing. Like I was like, I want to get and and something to do and ride around and and and and look at things and learn things. I think those are, you know, my earliest memories really about your age.

Goats, Grief, And Real Life Lessons

Chad 10:52

Marissa, how about you?

Marisa 10:54

So my situation was a little bit different because you guys, uh your parents, and correct me if I'm wrong, but they were full-time on the farm.

Speaker 6 11:03

Yeah.

Marisa 11:04

My my parents were not. Um my dad was in the ag industry, and I have early memories of going to work with him occasionally and sliding down some, you know, the the cotton gin and cut and sliding down that. I have a memory of feeding a bottle calf. Um and then uh we didn't get back to the farm until I was nine years old. And then we slowly started getting animals, and we started off with uh four goats, and that turned to 50 at some point. And um, so and we started raising goats and we had kids, and I remember just sitting out there playing with them. I remember uh we would we would do all sorts of crazy stuff with the with the goats. Um but we I just it was so nice to be able to be out there and have fun. Um, but it was work too, because I remember in the winter going out and breaking ice, and you know, um I also have keen memories of dealing with loss, you know. I always joke that goats find reasons to die. And very true, I they do. And so, like, you know, you could do everything you could to keep those those guys ha healthy and happy and you'd still lose some. And so that was an early learning lesson for me was how to deal with the disappointment and um grief of loss, um even though you try so hard to make sure it doesn't happen. And I know that all farmers have that problem, right? Whether it's crops or pigs or goats, you know, there's always gonna be some loss and it doesn't matter how hard you work.

Chad 12:58

Yeah.

Marlowe 12:58

Any Russia, do you feel like that was a disservice to you as a child? Like, do you feel like those were things that like you shouldn't have been around or seen at that age, or do you appreciate them for for now that you're older? Like, do you feel like that's something that you wish you hadn't have been a part of? Like just the like that kind of like watching livestock that you you know.

Marisa 13:18

No, I I think it it was almost it's almost a disservice not to have seen it. Um it it has helped me in so many ways that I and ways that I didn't even know about, right? Like I can just handle different situations better um than I think I would have been able to had I not seen those things. And now uh like with my kids, they are not on the farm. Like grandma and grandpa have farms, right? And they go and visit. But I don't shy away from that kind of stuff with them, right? Isla noticed that the the barn cat was gone and we had to talk about it, you know, it it died, right? And and she's three, and I don't I don't I'm not trying to be graphic with her or unfeeling with her, but I do want her to realize that this is life.

Feeling Useful With A Herding Board

Chad 14:15

What what are you what's one of you guys' uh earliest memories of feeling like you were a part of the farm or you were useful to the farm? You were making a difference uh on your farm. I know for me, I I we were building a barn one time, and we actually were building the penning uh for the barn up at our shop, and I remember welding like gates uh where the bars would come through. We were doing like a little plug weld with a uh like a stick welder. And uh I was I learned to weld and was was welding those gates together. And I actually my dad and my uncle like left me and I was there, you know, putting them in the little jig we had built, welding them, taking them out. Um, and I I I don't know, I just felt like I was part of the farm, you know. How old were each child? You know, early teens, 12, yeah, 13, somewhere in there.

Marlowe 15:10

I think mine would be, you know, when we were moving the hogs, like loading them in and out, and I would, you know, help help load them in and out. Um, and I would get my own cutting board to, you know, to move them. And I and they and I really was like holding space, you know. Um, and I feel like that was the first time that I was like, yeah, like I got this. Like, and they would let me move the hogs. And like, you know, they would have to, you know, open other gates or do something else, and I was moving them down the the driving lanes. Um, and I remember thinking, like, oh, I'm with shit now. Like, I know what to do.

Chad 15:40

Tell me about your cutting board. Was it like a piece of plywood with a handle cut out? Yeah.

Marlowe 15:43

Yeah. It was. It wasn't it's what we have now. It was like a piece of plywood. I think it was actually an old like gate or something, like a gate that had been modified. Um, and I was having to like keep them blocked from getting in. We were sorting them out, sorting out the gilts um to go into the breamborns. And I just remember being like, Oh, I'm I'm I'm in it. Like, I'm I'm legit. They need me. They're they need to be able to get it.

Chad 16:06

This place is gonna shut down without me.

Marlowe 16:08

Marlowe has arrived, and there's a new ball center. Watch out, Bob.

Chad 16:13

My grandfather my grandfather built me um a little small uh cutting board, and uh he would, you know, it was so I could handle it. I was young and and it he would spray paint my name on it.

unknown 16:24

Yeah.

Chad 16:24

Yeah.

Marlowe 16:25

Nice. Man, I wanted to get on Bob. I he didn't have a big thing.

Chad 16:28

Oh man, yeah, yeah. Bob, I might have talked to him about that.

Marisa 16:33

Now, did y'all know that in other parts of the country it's not a cutting board?

Marlowe 16:37

No, I was actually about to say that. I bet people were like, What's a cutting board? Yeah, it's a hurdle.

Chad 16:42

You call it a what?

Marisa 16:43

A hurdle. I've heard it as a hurdle.

Chad 16:45

Yeah, I think today's PC term is hurting herding board is what, yep. Sorry, but uh it is what it is. I mean, that's what we called it. This that's what it's always gonna be to me. Yeah, you're exactly right. My herding board. Grab my herding board, I'll be right back.

Marlowe 17:03

I'm not I now that you put that IDM on that, I might have made one for Kivit's stalls or own like professional little herding boards.

Marisa 17:10

You should. I know, I really should. Put some glitter on it or something? I don't know.

Marlowe 17:15

I don't think my little Kivit won't bless her girly art. But I do appreciate my dad allowing me to do things even though I was a girl. You know, like he never treated me any different or thought I couldn't do something because I was a girl.

Insurance Review For New Farm Income

Chad 17:29

So this is your ag risk minute brought to you by Snipes Insurance. Serve, grow, provide. Three words that define agriculture and three words that define their commitment to it. Snopes Insurance. Protect the people who keep America growing. Tim, what are some things our listeners should be considered with their farm coverage?

Tim Evans 17:52

Hey, Chad. Thanks for having me. That's a great question. Every new revenue stream should trigger an insurance review. And what I mean by that is our farms here in eastern North Carolina are constantly diversified. I'm starting to see a lot more roadside stands, a lot of calls asking about agri-tourism, and a lot of our farmers are participating in direct consumer sales. These activities can create liability exposures that were not originally contemplated whenever the policy was written. So if they're doing something new on the farm that's generating a new revenue stream, they need to have an insurance review and make sure that their liabilities are covered.

When Farm Pride Shows Up Later

Chad 18:42

Did you guys appreciate being raised on the farm, or was it like myself, only till later did you realize just how impactful it was on your life? Or did you did you know it?

Marisa 18:53

I knew it. I knew it. And and you know, and maybe that's because I didn't get to come into it until a little bit later. And so it was it it wasn't just always there. So I I could see that difference. Um but yeah, it impacted me in so many ways. And I mean, I always say that agriculture farming, right, has given me a career, it's given me friends, it's given me my husband. Like it just because of it, I have all of this.

Marlowe 19:26

So true. I I don't think I appreciated it until I was way older, honestly. And I don't even consider myself like I wasn't an ag kid. Like I wasn't, like I I didn't think I was gonna come back to the farm. I mean, yes, I grew up on a farm, I did all the things, I drove the vet around when I could was able to drive in the summertime, but I I don't really don't consider myself an actual ag kid. I don't think I appreciated it until I was probably honestly came back and started farming until I was 25 years old. I actually didn't start appreciating it until I was selling pork and I was having to talk about where the hogs were raised, and I saw the disconnect between chefs, consumers about where their food comes from. Yeah, that is a true story. Like I grew up a soccer kid, I was running amok at the country club. Like I don't pretend that I was like this big eye kid. It that fire got planted into me when I realized where agriculture stands today and and how people view it.

Chad 20:25

That's interesting. And I, you know, I think some kids are uh have a similar uh upbringing today, Marlowe. I know for me, like um when I got graduated high school, I had been on the farm working like a dog, and I was like, I'm done with this. I I'm tired of being a slave. Uh you know, I went to school um and just thought I was gonna go do something different and get off the farm. And um, yeah, I was back not too long. Yeah, yeah.

Marlowe 20:55

I think that's I mean, I you know, I think that's a really real thing. Like I just kind of thought everybody farmed. I'd go out there some, I'd go out there, you know. I I I I went out there and played, but I definitely did not appreciate it until later, way later in life. Like I didn't participate in FFA or 4-H. Like yes, I mean, I rode my horse around the farm. I was playing in the dirt, but I definitely did not have the appreciation um that I do now. And I think it's different for every ag kid and farm kid. I think everybody has different experiences, and some people, it's not that it's not they don't want to come back, and that's okay, you know. Like, I mean, I think that just just not their calling. And I feel like when you have the bug for ag, I mean, you you it when it keeps calling you, you find you come. Yeah, like

Raising Kids Around Farms Today

Marlowe 21:40

it's a calling.

Chad 21:40

I definitely have a deep, deep appreciation for my childhood now that I look back and see all the things that I was able to experience. Um, but let's talk about our kids and how they're being raised and how it's different maybe than how we were raised. Um, and I'll start my you know. my kids uh both my children Eva Grace and Riley uh they're 17 and or 18 and 15 now 17 and 15 I'm sorry um and don't age them child I mean seriously but um you know they were raised on the farm but they weren't like like they didn't work on the farm like I did. I mean I they have worked on the farm both of them have helped me ship pigs out both of them have driven tractors um and have just been on and around a farm their whole lives they appreciate it I know they do um we talk about it you know all the time about how it's great to be in this wide open space and uh very few neighbors or just our neighbors or our family um but I I far less hours spent actually working on the farm than what I did as a kid. Far less. So many distractions I mean t ball baseball golf um just so much to do uh for these kids and obviously we're in them and all they want to do, right? So we're spoiling them.

Marisa 23:07

So so Chad do you think that the expectation to work on the farm was different for you versus your kids?

Chad 23:14

You know I don't know if it was an expectation. I was I wanted it. Like I wanted to be on the farm. It wasn't really I didn't I was going to be bored at home. I mean I could play by myself uh at home and I did sometimes because I you know if I didn't want to go to the farm that day but uh I I wanted it I wanted to be around my dad and and around the farm and the animals and yeah it's it's different. My kids they want to I mean not not they don't appreciate it. I don't want to set the wrong tone here but but they want to be with their friends playing baseball or or doing an activity and and look I appreciate that too I appreciate it. So how about Kivitt?

Marlowe 23:53

Yeah I you know I I agree with that Chad like very much and honestly that was my childhood the same childhood that that you that your kids were experiencing like I played soccer like yes I went to the farm I could play hang out but it was very similar to honestly it wasn't an expectation that and and I I don't know if it's expectation is a word like you said that I want to use but I didn't have to go if I didn't want to and and then and again it didn't I didn't appreciate it till later in life. I think my kids are honestly more involved with agriculture than I was um just from being an advocate for ag and what you know the three of us do for agriculture. I think they hear it a lot more um it's taught a lot about more I mean they go to the farm with me a lot more necessarily than I think I did until I was older. But they in a sense I can tell have gotten the fire of protecting it like they don't want to hear anybody say anything bad about Ag. You know, from they they're very defend in that kind of way that you know I think their passion is built just from my role and what I do and what we all do for advocating for agriculture in that kind of sense. Like I feel like Kibba will come home and be like I I raised my hand in in class today because they said something about agriculture but I had to make sure you know they were correct because it wasn't true. You know, I mean that in that kind of aspect um there's a lot more respect. I mean stalls a six when he goes out there I'm usually half having to watch him because he's chasing parkings around you know I mean he he goes out there to play more than anything or ride a little side by side and you know just kind of learn from me and watch me and he likes to go help like work on equipment he wants to be the you know the the tool getter like I mean he loves you know playing with tools and and stuff like that. Um but I do think agriculture kids nowadays versus your gener our generation definitely my dad's generation it's just a lot different it's a lot different.

Chad 25:51

Yeah it's more about communicating about what it is we do. And I appreciate the fact that Kivitt uh sees your passion and and and and so my kids as well I mean they see what we do every day uh defending agriculture and um standing up for it.

Marlowe 26:07

So yeah I mean I just think they respect it more than I did because my dad wasn't I mean yes they were fighting the same misconceptions but just in a different way. Like I think that is at the forefront of agriculture now these misconceptions and trying to help educate people about farming and our culture and our lifestyle I think we are combating that way more than previous generations. Well not everybody's an expert right exactly I'm not even an expert I'm still learning something new about ag like every day.

Marisa 26:40

Yeah no so do you think or go ahead Brissa I was just gonna say you know we currently don't live on the farm and so my kids you know to go on the farm they go to grandma and grandpa's but we are having a lot of conversations about what the next you know 10 years looks like and how we want to raise our kids. You know does that mean a neighborhood and just you know ag adjacent does that mean that we want to be on a farm and so those conversations have been very interesting and challenging because it's forcing Garrett and I to say what did we enjoy about you know being raised on a farm how much of a priority is that to for our kids to experience that too can they get that without the farm you know like just how does all that come together and we don't have the answers to it all um but it it looks very different right you know buying land or a farm right now is it's not it's not as simple as it once was right or cheap. So you know it just it's conversations that we're having but it is uh been it's been interesting to to reflect on how we were raised and what we value about that life and then how we want to see that in our own kids.

Chad 28:10

That's very interesting Marissa I know both you and Gary had similar upbringings um yeah and that's um it won't do that to provide your kids with that same experience.

Marisa 28:22

It's almost yeah and there was a time in my life where I could not picture anything but being on the farm right um and of course my kids will be raised on a farm but now being a parent it's like I there's just so much involved with it and um so many logistics and I don't know it's I would like them to be raised I would like them to be raised on a farm.

Farm Skills, Family Culture, And Myths

Marisa 28:51

I'll say that it's very much a lifestyle.

Marlowe 28:55

It is it is and I think too the like going into that there's so many different opportunities now for people that who want to be in agriculture that doesn't mean that you're on the farm right like there's so many different jobs you can be involved in the agricultural community where it necessarily isn't um being actually you know owning a farm or or or or or many different things involved in agriculture that doesn't mean that you have to actually meet the farmer. Absolutely yes so and I think younger people are are seeing that and realizing the the opportunities the agriculture broadly um as a whole not just farming can offer them. So I think you know younger generations having a lot more conversations about that than than my generation or definitely my dad's generation was having yeah 100% I think it's a great time to plug for um uh people who don't live on a farm or were raised on a farm there's still an opportunity for you at agriculture we need you uh and we want you in agriculture for sure yeah I think from a communication standpoint um I think that's what we need the most is actually people outside of ag you know promoting agriculture I think that's one of the number one things that we need right now because we are seeing so many different false narratives and and just the lack of education involved in agriculture that that what we need is people that didn't you know get raised on a farm to to want to have the passion for it.

Chad 30:26

I think people too I think I think people like um fantasize about being raised on a farm people who are not from the farm like you know it's something special I and I think a lot of people want it.

Marlowe 30:40

They do do you think there's a difference between like regular work and ag work like when it comes to childhood like do you feel like you know there's you know there's there's work you know normal work like nine to five and then ag work I mean do you think for for kids that there's like a a difference between those two things like can you compare the two really that's a good question.

Chad 31:04

Like like working on a farm or or as opposed to like working your first job on a golf course or something?

Marlowe 31:10

Yeah or like yeah working at a hardware store versus you know or kids that are raised looking at ag work and then maybe looking at somebody that's a dentist or a doctor like do you think there's a different I mean you know how do you can you compare the two like I mean that like one work which is a nine to five versus ag work?

Chad 31:33

I think ag work definitely gives uh you a skill set um that that that pays huge dividends in life I mean just as simple as backing a trailer or hooking a trailer up or um welding or you know how to righty tidy lefty loosey on bolts and nuts. I mean you know just as simple yesterday tiny lefty loosey yeah and but I mean it's not that other kids can't learn that I mean matter of fact um Tammy's husband Farmer John over at Hub's Farm he has a little summer program where kids come to the Hubb's farm and he teaches them how to back a trailer or hook a hook a trailer up.

Marisa 32:12

That's cool yeah it's amazing I want to see that is shout out to farmer John well I mean yeah yeah no doubt I want to check that out you know I think it goes back to what you said Marlo though is it's farming is a lifestyle and you don't really say that with like a dentist for example like I mean it may maybe they do feel that way but I don't hear it. And so and I think it's also just the tie to land that is and animals that are just living beings. And I think that makes a difference um and it provides a living like more so than just money right it it provides food and shelter and clothing and and things like that. So somehow that changes it.

Marlowe 33:07

I mean seriously I drop it in yeah well I would love to know how many ad kids have failed a driving test like to go get the well not actually the driving but the the the written part both both of mine I mean the hands on experience like I probably a couple times so my dyslexia was not good in the in the driver's head but I'm just saying what kid the driving part or you know what what I want to know how many eye kids fail the driving test.

Marisa 33:36

Not me brother nope but I also think it's it's the opportunity that it provides kids right you have the opportunity to have a problem and fix it. Whereas that doesn't always those opportunities don't always arise in in other situations or other you know kids growing up you know you quickly learn to use bailing twine and duct tape and you know how to fix things and solve problems. You know, I see a sick animal what's wrong with it? Let me figure it out that critical thinking is not always developed um as much in other situations I think I agree frying kids definitely have it the advantage.

Marlowe 34:25

And another way I like want to phrase this question a little bit too is I mean is there a difference between farm time and working time like is all far I mean because when I look back at my memories on the farm I don't always think about work work work like you know I mean is there a difference like I mean farm time versus work time. I mean I feel like that was all incorporated with family time. Yeah and I think that is often missed a lot in agriculture or the depiction of agriculture right like we're just out there slaving away at five years old you know when that's not you know we there's a reason that agriculture is called agriculture like we are the culture part of that like these are farm families 98% of the farms in this country are family owned and operated and sometimes I think that part is missed when it comes to children and and being working on the farm.

Marisa 35:18

Yeah and I think it's hard to tease apart those things too right like they're one and the same you might be working with with dad or mom or you know whoever but you're also you know spending time with them and learning and playing right like it's a little it's definitely blended for me.

Chad 35:39

I mean like uh if we're um so we're working today uh me and Riley are working and then later on Eva Grace and I are riding around the farm on the um on the side by side and we hear a V motor running empty we gotta go unplug it. I mean that's you know we're on the farm so it all blends together um but yeah

Legacy Without Pressure On Kids

Chad 36:00

it's a great place to be so what do we think about um Kivitt or Styles being uh fourth what generation farmer are you Marlo?

Marlowe 36:11

Third okay is yeah fourth they be fourth generation or um styles gonna be a fifth generation farmer I mean to be determined I mean they they talk about it I mean there's definitely the bug there's the passion um but what that means you know is to be determined in my opinion you know I I'm a believer in you know you're born with it you got the passion for it it might come at different times in your lives but I mean I hope so I think that's why every farmer um hopes for especially generational farmers like I you know we hope that there's going to be a legacy to continue it on if they wanted to I don't think that's something that I'll ever force my kids to do it because I don't feel like agriculture and our culture and lifestyle is something that you can be forced into. I think it's a passion in your heart.

Marisa 37:00

Well how are y'all balancing that though balancing the not forcing them but flaming that passion encouraging that while also saying you know you do what you want I'll support you no matter what right you know that is an interesting question.

Marlowe 37:19

I mean I don't have to like it just it's just daily conversations that we have in in regards to who we are and and our especially in ag community like I I just think that they understand that you know we're farmers it's who we are this is you know part of life and it will always be whether they choose to continue you know in the livestock you know industry or not. I mean I I don't think they're they'll ever take away from it. Um and I think that you know a lot of reason why generational farmers continue to transition and look at new science and technology and bringing their kids on the farm is for them to to learn it and then if they don't come back still appreciate it.

Chad 38:05

That's that's a great question. For for me I think um I just trust uh in the Lord to um take care of that I I you know I don't worry about it much I'm not like driving home today you've got to be in agriculture uh we just we just spend our time on the farm um whenever I need help I come and get them they come help me um but I also um make sure I I believe in them in the things they want to do um and that may be like for Riley he wants to be a professional golfer and I 100% committed we enter all these golf tournaments and I believe in him a hundred percent I think he can do it I really I believe he can do it um and that's what I'm gonna keep on doing is believing in him and both my kids um but yeah like like I say if they don't return to the farm that's okay but I am gonna work my ass off to make sure that it's an option for him I agree and I stand the same way.

Marlowe 39:08

Like I I want it to be an opportunity I think it's important and you know I'm very proud that I the times that I've spent on the farm and you know my passion came oh look speak like future Iggy right here. Yeah um I think you know that if they want to have the opportunity and and and I hope they have the passion again mine came later in life that they should have the same opportunities as I did. And I'll work very hard to protect that. And I think they're gonna have to juggle a lot more public perception than we even had.

Chad 39:40

I think that that will be the biggest that's going to be our biggest catalyst in the world oh gosh it's it's changing so much right in front of our eyes and I just oh it scares me to death for for my kids and what they may face. Yeah but we just got to keep keep doing you gotta have thick skin gotta have thick skin Bob always said it.

Marlowe 40:04

I mean but I think that those farm skills those farm skills you know they're gonna come through I think yeah even though it's I think so yeah and I think if you grow up on a farm and are raised around you know the farming lifestyle whether you come back or not you're still gonna use all those important um life skills for other things as well. Yeah for sure but I think that the disconnect and the fact that the average consumer is now four five six seven generations removed from the farm they're gonna continue there's still going to be an uphill battle in that regard for Ag Kids.

Chad 40:45

Yeah just got to keep the faith I mean we don't know what it's gonna look like um but just um just got to keep plugging along and and um keep doing our best every each and every day.

Marlowe 40:56

As Roy Lee would say just get a little better each and every day I think that's what's uh a great representation of generational

When A Farm Becomes A Court Argument

Marlowe 41:06

farm work.

Chad 41:06

We got a little bit better every generation well look I I want to uh I think we've talked about ag kids and and and the generational stuff a little bit I want to shift uh a little bit now and um talk about a situation uh that Marlo encountered recently um regarding a farm kid and she actually posted about it on her Facebook uh just a couple days ago and um I want to just kind of dive in it's kind of a a uh I don't know what kind of situation described this as but um let's hear about it Marlo and let's talk about it a little bit um yeah I mean it's very emotional for me um it's the first time I've kind of encountered this situation um when in agriculture this is not I mean there's a first time for everything and this is definitely a first time for me um and it's it's really heartbreaking because you know it involves a child who is clearly loved um from two different ag families and one ag family is claiming that the child is not safe on the farm which is heartbreaking on both sides because clearly the child is very loved um and I think it's a really hard place for agriculture to be when one family seems to be using agriculture as you know a liability against another and it's a hard thing to talk about because at the end of the day I know both families farming and it's part of their livelihood and I hate to see one weaponize it against another and it's it's heartbreaking.

Marlowe 42:55

So it's kind of in a custody battle pretty much right right right and I mean we know I've I'm a divorce I understand how custody battles go I mean there are a lot of emotions involved in that and it's tough because I've been a mother on the side of that like I understand there is a lot of emotions in there regards to that and it's a harder thing to talk about.

Chad 43:17

Why do you think the criticism of raising children on farms feels personal to us I mean because we're you know we're farm families and we we just we talked about how much we loved our childhood I mean it's it's special to us um but why do you think it's it's just so personal I mean it's because of that that being raised on the farm right and it's because it's hard to witness that in that kind of setting when people don't know or understand the lifestyle.

Marlowe 43:50

I mean you know when you're referring to the farm as a job site I mean that's a tough thing to hear because I really feel like for me personally that really dehumanizes what a family farm is and it's just really tough like and I think that it's a it's very I I'm protective over it. Like I'm it's a part of my lifestyles and my heritage. And um you know I feel like it opens a conversation that we in the ag community don't want to see amongst farmers. Because it's a lose-lose situation.

Chad 44:27

And it's very sad. Well I looked into it a little bit and um you know under federal labor law uh especially the Fair Labor Standards Act farm families have broad exemptions that allowed our children to work on farms owned or operated by their parents. So we kind of are protected a little bit um as long as their parents own the farm. And that's good because um otherwise we'd be in a bind.

Marlowe 44:55

Well also I think it goes back to the conversation that we had earlier like he's I mean I don't I think this is a situation where he's there learning playing I mean you know this child is young you know I I don't think I mean I think the whole working aspect of that narrative isn't the truth either. Yeah you know or that the the one parent is just working the whole time and the child's running unsupervised you know around the farm. I mean that's we know as farmers that's not the the truth. And you know and honestly nobody's here to not discuss that there are dangers on the farm. Like a hundred percent I mean there I mean there are dangers things happen accidents happen on farms every single year. And I think it's important to understand in that kind of aspect for people that didn't raise on a farm what you're told at a young age responsibility wise respect wise in regards to things that could be dangerous.

Marisa 45:54

Well speak to that a little bit for both of you about the responsibility as parents to teach your kids and to and to keep your kids safe

Teaching Safety Without Calling It Unsafe

Marisa 46:04

on the farm.

Chad 46:04

Oh there's no doubt it's utmost importance when when I'm on the farm with my kids I mean if there's a a PTO shaft in action I mean we're I mean I've watched them like a hog I mean we there's I don't really know how to explain it.

Marlowe 46:18

It's just uh I think that's more of a parent thing than anything just watching out for them for from dangers right dangers right yeah I agree I mean there's supervision happening and and and the education and resources that farmers have now I mean when it comes to chemicals I mean you have to be licensed you have to be storing these chemicals in certain places you have to have safety training I mean I think that clearly the agricultural farming that my grandfather and farming to were doing is not the same as I'm doing today. And that is the same regards to safety. I mean you know like it what you know I think you know this is how we used to do it or I mean you know like now we understand there's a lot more that goes into that and the importance of educating your child and teaching your child even any kind of aspect I mean being near water and making sure that they're respecting the ocean. I mean we we live in a a a a state that is at the beach I mean I think that there's that's just that doesn't necessarily become an ag issue more than a responsibility of the parent issue.

Chad 47:24

Yeah for sure and I I've I'm I lean on the edge of pushing my kids a little probably before they should like my kids were driving tractors at the same age I was uh you know most of our tractors now are a little bit easier to drive than clutching one uh back in the day but sure yeah um and I wanted my kids to feel that independence you know what I mean I mean I can drive a tractor I'm only 10 years old I mean you absolutely but it wasn't dangerous I mean I do I would never put them in harm's way um so right yeah that's uh that's interesting so do you think agriculture can survive if the next generation grows up disconnected from the farm life? I mean you know we talked a little bit about our kids being somewhat disconnected um but I I don't know I mean let's think about the future of agriculture and as these kids are are disconnected from the farm how does that I mean yeah I mean I I think that farming will could would continue I just think it would be consolidated.

Marlowe 48:28

Yeah I think you would lose more and more of generational farmers and that it would just be you know folks getting out like I mean just imagine if you know and I I know this is a little bit conspiracy theory but what happens if the government one day woke up and said you know what kids aren't allowed on the farm it's not safe um you know you're not allowed to have your kids around and they can't do these things and I mean so then it leaves it into somebody again that doesn't understand the lifestyle you know making rules and regulations like what happens after that I mean most farm families are generational farmers and and and even the ones that are getting at in as new farmers they want to build so maybe their kids would want to be involved in it. So I mean it's it really opens Pandora's box when you know we start pointing fingers at each other. It's kind of like the organic versus non-organic argument. You know like when we start pointing fingers at each other within the agmunity it only hurts us ourselves because we're so small.

Chad 49:31

Well one of those uh one of those an example kind of what you're talking about was um came in 2011 12 the US Department of Labor proposed some major changes to youth agricultural labor rules um things like operating tractors power equipment working in grain bins working at heights um but the backlash from what I read was significant. Dozens of members of Congress objected but all the agricultural groups obviously got behind supporting it. But here is a common message from the opponent farm safety matters but family farms are not factories.

Marlowe 50:15

Okay I mean I couldn't say it any better and you know it when what I witnessed is you know taking the the family part out of the farm when I was you know and again I mean lawyers are doing their job and they're very good at it. And you have people that are making decisions that aren't raised on farms and don't understand.

Chad 50:36

So when you use this derogatory language you know against agriculture is scary sounding you know but I couldn't uh agree with you more like we're not factories um we're families so I guess a uh in in the case that you were involved with um so a court or a judge is going to decide uh what a healthy farm childhood looks like is that what I'm understanding yes a judge will decide now does this judge have any agricultural background was she I I'm not sure I not that I'm aware of it wasn't mentioned um I I'm not sure that how much ag education she has I mean you know the forum was referred to as a a job site um so that really is heartbreaking to hear you know when that's actually the forum that the child lives at with his grandparents I mean it's it's it's tough like that is it's hard to hear those kind of words that takes dehumanizes us.

Marlowe 51:43

I mean so I'm I'm not sure I don't know it will be uh interesting to see and and what kind of doors that opens for the future or what my kids might have to battle now if if this is going to be a new a new form of um prob problems we'll have to face amongst many.

Chad 52:05

Yeah the challenges keep coming don't they marlo I really um I really appreciate you you know sharing it with us Marlo I know it's been uh emotional for you to uh be a part of that and um I hope that the judge um you know comes back uh with reason uh and and and and creates a situation where that child can uh can enjoy the farm life that you and I enjoyed growing up uh or maybe a piece of that me too and uh so I hope it's fair that's right for both sides we'll I'll pray I do I'll pray about it I hope it I hope it works out for both sides.

Hope, Humor, And Final Takeaways

Chad 52:42

I mean clearly this child is loved immensely um so I mean I'm sure that judge is seeing a lot of worst case scenarios than this kind of situation um so I I really hope I hope that um agriculture is not determined to be a deterrent yeah for the children well I tell you this has been a um it's been an incredible episode I mean I know it's kind of ended on a little bit of an emotional note um but it was I I really enjoyed our conversation about just farm kids in general and and how we were raised and uh I miss it so much.

Marlowe 53:23

I know if I could tell her back time.

Marisa 53:26

Yeah exactly uh yeah which is it's so interesting to hear you guys say that you miss it. I mean you missed playing on the farm. So maybe you guys need to just schedule a play day on the farm as adult. Maybe you should do that.

Chad 53:42

Let's do it let's do it I want to come to the nursery and see what's wait till like it's freezing cold and we'll we'll freeze up some some nipple orders and we'll come and I'll give you a torch and we can thaw them out.

Marlowe 53:54

I hear you I want to I want to video Marlo on a horse going down the I don't know if my horse is going to be as bright as that horse was now I bet she'd be like wait what oh my gosh I would go up and down those chutes oh lord that would be fun though maybe re recreate it.

Chad 54:12

Yeah yeah do it in the turkey barn well I she probably I wouldn't yeah well I tell you um I just it's been a it's been a real conversation today conversation no no no props just just sending it you know it feels good feels good it does I always love talking with y'all I love when y'all let me pop in for maybe a little monthly visit you gotta have you Marlo you're you're carrying cut thanks for joining us on another episode of Raids on the Farm podcast remember to subscribe and follow us on Instagram have a question or a topic idea let us know and join the conversation we'll see you next time